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Christmas: A New Beginning.

     Cold air nipped at my nose as she placed her gloved fingers in mine. She could always make winter better for me. The cold and the mist were things that would dampen anyone’s spirits, but with her it became a fairy tale. The kind of winter you read about in books, where everything becomes magical, transformed by the glittering snow. 

     The mountains in the distance were shrouded in fog and snow. She was wearing the scarf I had knit her last winter. As we walked back to the car, Christmas tree permit clutched tightly in her other hand, she looked up at me and smiled, nearly dancing with excitement for our upcoming adventure. 

     I remember our first winter together. The cozy little apartment we got together with its mismatched furniture purchased from thrift stores around town. The many strings of random Christmas lights arranged haphazardly about the doorways and window frames. Our matching blue dinnerware all piled in the sink, the counter crowded with our various favorite hot winter beverages. 

     Our living room was a chaotic mess of scarves hats sweaters and other various winter items. Our knitting was lying in a heap on the coffee table, all mixed in together and the TV was quietly chunnering on to itself about penguins.

     We put the tree in a small corner and decorated it with various mismatched baubles. She always did like a white Christmas, with the snow piled everywhere in great heaps. I had always hated Christmas; the loudness, the fighting, the forced social interactions, and the anxiety the dark cold months brought on.

     Winter with her was bright and happy full of life and laughter. She brought warmth in where there had not been any for years. Winter became magic, suddenly all the fanciful Christmas songs made sense, and all the decorations put out early excited me rather than depress me farther.

     When I first met her I could tell Montana winters were her thing. I’d be running errands and think to myself, “Wow, this is something she’d love.” Going to cut our own tree had been a tradition in my younger years, something that had always been a romantic idea of mine.

     Decorations my grandmother made us took up most of the space on the tree, Gramma had taken to her instantly. It didn’t matter to her that I was different, she still loved me with that same fierce love, which was then extended to her. She still loved having us come over for Christmas dinner.

     Winters were better now, brighter, warmer, cozier; something I had been searching for avidly, for quite some time. I’m quite happy to never go back.

It’s all I think about when I’m out. What it would be like with you here, how much happier I’d be, how much I’d love winter and Christmas, how much  you’d love it here, and adore everything about it here.  It is a dream I’m determined to see through.

For my darling Hayley, because I cannot get you off my mind. 

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Cereal

There she stands, bare feet on the cold hardwood floor. Barely noticing the cold on her brightly painted cherry-red toes. In nothing but rainbow stripey panties and an old worn t-shirt. Her dark short hair tousled this way and that and her reading glasses are perched precariously on the tip of her freckled nose. Sleep is still written across her face as she squints over the top of her reading glasses at the tv. Her brows are furrowed in that “confused that it’s morning” look. A bowl of her favorite cereal wavers in one hand while her spoon hunts for her mouth in the other. She is barely aware of the danger her breakfast faces, her mind is far away, probably on some mad adventure that will give her fuel for her next novel. She has no idea she’s being observed and continues to nearly miss her mouth with her spoon. I smile to myself as I return to my novel. 
Perfection in one little moment. 

(C) Copyright 2012 by Emily Erhart

There is no specific person who inspired this. I just had a vision of it and fell in love with the idea.

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Ode To My True Friends

"……….you make it easier to be………."

" A true friend is one soul in two bodies." ~Aristotle

         These are the times that require us to reach in our magic bag of friendship and pull out the friends who mean the most to us. To surround yourself with those who truly care, the friends who know your life inside and out and still don’t mind if you complain a bit. Those who stick by you through thick and thin and who love you no matter how hard it is. They are the people you sit and talk on the phone for hours with, sometimes talking but mostly sitting in silence, just happy to know someone who cares is on the other end.

     There are never awkward silences where you both feel insecure. They are someone you can call or text in the middle of the night, and they’ll be there. They are the ones you can cry with, laugh incessantly with, pick a fight with and get over it within two seconds. Someone you share all your feelings, fears, hopes, failures, dreams, goals, wishes, and secretes with.

       Someone you know you’ll spend the rest of your life with, no matter who else comes along. The ones who never judge you and always make time for you. You can laugh together about mistakes you’ve made. Sit on the porch and laugh at your grandchildren playing in the mud together.

        Your best friend….. your true friend, is one who never lies to you. The one you can always talk to. You have those moments where you cant stop laughing; either at each other, or with each other. The few people who you can sit and watch sappy tear-jerker movies together, and cry and not even care.

        The ones who know every facial expression you can make and what it means. The ones you can spend every day with, the ones who you can spend the night with and stay up till six am and wake up two hours later, ready for a new adventure.

       Someone who can give you ideas, inspire you, give you advice, and give you something new to try. This is the time in your life where you know who really cares about you; and who you really care about, and that you don’t need those fake friends “….and all of them would sell (you) for a song…” that don’t truly care.

       Your true friend knows you inside and out, knows when you’re feeling blue when no one else does. who understands why you feel the way you do. Who can tell you have one of those happy secrets your just bursting to tell them. 

         Someone who you can spend time with and not need to gossip and down talk because you both know you complete each other. This person is someone you go to the park with and sit and eat candy and chug energy drinks until you can’t think straight anymore…. 

… It’s love… and to all my true friends, I love you. What would I do without you? Where would I be without you? Who would I be without you. You’re all I am.

songs quoted:

Easier To Be~Lifehouse

Falling Apart~Matt Nathanson

* i wrote this one day cuz i was in one of those super bad moods and i realized all my friends cared even when the ‘other’ friends didn’t. i realized my true friends matter more than life. i hope you enjoy

(C) Copyright 2010 by Emily Erhart

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My Paper Wish

"…I wrote this for you…" "…more than a feeling…"

        I decided to write you to improve my penmanship. I don’t know if it’s improved or not, imitating people’s handwriting.

      I miss you like the sun misses the flower in the dead of winter. Across the frozen desert I long to fly to be safe and warm in your arms. To hear your voice across the darkness: calm, comforting, and cool. I dream of awaking to your sweet breath playing across my face as you push my hair out of my eyes. I wish to fall asleep in your arms, listen to your heart beat as it synchronizes with mine, our breath in perfect harmony. Sing to me soft and sweet. Our lips brush as we talk in the night. A small moment during the day: a brush of fingers in passing, a wink across the room, a blown kiss caught and kept, your hand as it locks with mine, a whisper of love in my ear.

      Butterflies collide as you bow and kiss my hand. A night of dancing under the stars, a picnic under the sun in a green glade, singing along to our favorite songs on the road to anywhere, swimming in the cool creek, your hands as you brush my hair, your arm around my shoulder during a film.

       Catching frogs in a pond, watching the birds build a nest, or the geese guiding their goslings to the water. Kissing in the pouring rain, lying on the warm sand of the beach watching the beautiful rolling waves; or making angels in the freshly fallen snow, sledding for a while then sitting beside a warm fire with a nice mug of hot cocoa; or playing with the baby goats in a warm, green, sunny meadow; or star gazing till the sun begins to hedge the horizon.

     The bass of your voice echoing upon the canyon walls as you tell a tale of true love. My head in your lap as we spend the afternoon quietly basking in each other’s presence.

     It’s not poetry, or music, or even a story. This, I suppose, is what you could call a wish. My paper wish. Maybe someday it will come true. 

~ I wrote this during school, I was bored and needed to get some emotions off my chest. It was going to be for me to either keep and digest later or burn. But I showed it to someone. She had such a rush of emotions when she read it that it made me think of making everyone feel that alive. So I posted it. I don’t know what its going to make you feel, but I would like to know what you thought, felt, or even saw. So post a comment. Let me know. This isn’t for any one of you specifically. I just wrote it.

Songs quoted:

Where Is Your Boy Tonight~Fall Out Boy

More Than A Feeling~Boston

(C) Copyright 2010 by Emily Erhart


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Multiple Mini Pieces

*I wrote these way back in like 2006 so you can compare my writing from then to my writing now. Since this stuff is kinda old it isn’t very good, but I wanted to give you guys insight on how much I have improved.

Road Trip:

         Lets take a road trip. A road trip to nowhere. And when we finally get there, we’ll be there. And when we find out where we are I’ll whisper a secret in your ear. And we’ll share the sunset together at the end of nowhere and for awhile we’ll be two people at the end of a journey, at the end of the rainbow it isn’t gold but a truly great friendship that was meant to last a lifetime. And forever I’ll be true to you always at the end of nowhere.

Before The Thunder

        I pay strict attention to the smallest details as you cry your way out of the dark.

Its hot and cold and I’m crying tonight, you open up and I take it in.

The music’s playing your heart skips a beat.

My hair falls on your face as your eyelashes caress my cheek. 

Your eyes shine in the starlight reflecting thousands of possibilities.

The sighing of the wind in the branches of the willows and the aspens brings the call of the wild running through our veins.

 We blend like bleeding rainbows, our hearts pump adrenaline mixing with our sighs.

The air is cool and calm, like just before the thunder.

On The Sand In The Sun By The Sea

              The sand on the beach connects you to me, the breeze is blowing gently and it feels so nice with you by my side. The simplicity of holding hands and laughing in the sun and sea. Eyelash wishes and butterfly kisses and the near misses add up to be: two bored teens on the sand in the sun by the sea, singing of life and how good it used to be.  The talking and laughing and smiling and singing connects us on a new level.

  

Electrical Pulses

        Your presence is intoxicating, your smile dredges up emotions so long forgotten.  Your scent calls me.  Its addicting the way you make me feel, but it’s better than a drug, its more than a rush.  you take my breath away, your body close to mine, enthralling me in emotion.  Your eyes drawing me deeper, your soul beckons, your kiss ravages me an brightens my world.  Life is better with you here, the intensity is like a magnet, I’m drawn irrevocably towards you. Like the moon and earth. Your warmth sings to me, your pulse calming, yet wild. Your eyelashes graze my cheek, and I understand its more than a chemical reaction more than electrical pulses. The music of your breath sounds in my mind, no words are needed, our language is in our bodies, lying close in the dewy grass. Your smile mysterious and seductive. The shyness slips away with the night, and the sunrise completes us. 

Love

         Something is coming.  I don’t know what it is, but when it gets here I’ll follow it wherever.  I can feel it in my veins, under my skin, in my bones; vibrating through me.  Its wonderful and perfect, yet untamed and free.  Its crazy, trusting something so completely, yet it feels so right.  I can tell it will change my life, but not how, or why.  I do know its good I feel, some hardships but I feel the good parts too. 'Take the good times with the worst.'  It took me a while to figure out what it is,  but I know: it is love. Yes simple, but passionate, powerful, and strong.  I’m committed completely, there is no letting go and no holding back.   It has come.

(C) Copyright by Emily Erhart 2006


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Flowers For Adele

"it hurts just to wake up, whenever you’re wearing thin, alone on the outside, so tired of looking in, the end is uncertain, and i’ve never been so afraid, but i don’t need a telescope to see that there’s hope, and that makes me feel brave." > Tidal Wave~Owl City 

            this song is one of the few things that got me through this past summer, i remember the day so clearly

      it was a week from the day i graduated that i got the phone call, i was in missoula staying with relatives and there to watch some friends of mine graduate. it was one of the worst days of my life. i wouldn’t believe my mom at first when she told me, but as she read the article i began to cry, all i could say was “no, no, not Adele, no way, no no.”

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